Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Norm Tip #7

Norm says, "Suggest she use both hands."

Norm's World #3

So Norm wants to be a weatherperson. You know the kind. Those stupid talking heads you see on television that still can't read a satellite image. Poor New England went thru a wet hell recently with inches upon inches of rain. Norm feels for all the local folks that have been flooded out of their homes. But the biggest insult has not been the weather. It has been the weather reports.

These guys and gals have gone out of their way to candycoat the post rain amounts. Norm and others has been stunned by the predicted finale that swept thru the region Sunday. These idiots weren't even close. And that's not counting the 1-2 inches we received under the predicted light showers for earlier in the week. Nice call.

Norm snapped this shot after the final hail storm roared out of New England Sunday afternoon.

Norm Simpson

Ffleur posted a supercool link where you can created yourself as a Simpson character. Norm came up with this image. And here are Norm's disclaimers: This is the best Norm could do. Also, Norm really can't play guitar, but is a mean Barre chord fake. Norm does not have a Strat, but a vintage Gibson hollow-body.

And Norm would never jump up and down on ice.

The Elvis Room #5

Norm hung the speakers a couple days ago, and was surprised at how hot they really looked.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Norm Tip #6

Norm says, "Women are attracted to three things. Good looks, a fat wallet, and a big johnson. If you don't have any of these, try working on your sense of humor."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Bermuda #1

Norm recently had a fantastic trip to the outstanding country known as Bermuda. He was going to write a lengthy post with pictures, but realized it would take time. (All my photos were shot on traditional 35mm. still film, and they have to be developed and scanned.) So Norm is writing this brief post with a single photo of beautiful Jobson's Cove. Here is Norm's quick overview of his dream vacation:

Located approximately 700 miles southeast of Boston, flying to the island paradise of Bermuda is well under two hours. And while it has a mild, temperate climate, it really can't be considered tropical. It is the ideal getaway for those that want bright blues skies and warm beaches, without getting too sweaty or hot. It has a safe, harmonious culture, as there is no real poverty or crime on the island. And almost everyone greets you with a hello or good morning as you explore this paradise.

There are public beaches located in all of Bermuda's parishes, but the ones located in Southampton are considered some of the best in the world. Jobson's Cove is located in Southampton, and is a must visit if one is ever there. Stay tuned. More to come.

Norm Tip #5

Norm says, "Ladies, if you're paying half for dinner, it's not a date."

The Floods of 2006

Norm and Stinky huffed it through the woods Sunday, to check the river. New England has been clobbered with 6-12 inches of non-stop rain the past week. (Some places got almost 17 inches of rain!!) Many residents, particularly those in metro areas, have been force to evacuate their homes and seek shelter in schools and hospitals. Those living in higher, rural areas seem to be doing a little better, although many bridges and roads have been closed.

The National Guard, police and fire professionals have been outstanding in helping citizens.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Norm Tip #4

Norm says, "If she asks if her ass looks big, answer no if it is before sex, and yes if it is after."

Norm's World #2

Norm apologizes for the lack of posting, but he has had the good fortune of traveling. Norm took his first real vacation in 9 years, his first plane ride in 9 years, and his first jaunt outside of the USA in 14 years!!! Recently Norm found some old photos in his barn, and was shocked to see what the old shack used to look like. This picture shows Stinky in an area that used to have a steep, narrow staircase.

The staircase would turn down into the kitchen. Halfway down would be a window that you would have to crawl through to get into the greenhouse. (A window, not a door!!) Norm removed the wooden staircase, (It was very difficult.) and enlarged the second floor opening, adding railing for safety. Norm took his trusty saws-all and cut out pine wall boards that were almost two feet wide and over two inches thick!! and installed a sliding glass door into the greenhouse. (He was smart and kept the boards.)

Norm made the small tiled area for Stinky. He has since received a bigger and nicer bed!